The Wacky Week in Sports

It was certainly another interesting week in the world of sports. It turns out that everyone’s favorite baseball player Alex Rodriguez is a total liar. The Memphis Grizzlies, The Golden State Warriors and the Toronto Raptors are the three best teams in the NBA and that has me freaked out a little bit. There were a few more big upsets and nail-biters in college football on the heels of Division I’s first playoff season. And the Bears played some solid defense in prime time on Sunday Night Football.

Photo credit: NY Daily News
Photo credit: NY Daily News

Well, when you thought all eyes would be off of baseball until at least the winter meetings when trade talks and free agency heats up, baseball’s saddest “superstar” popped up once again. A-Rod, who was officially reinstated after the World Series and part of the New York Yankees roster (unwillingly) yet again, turned rat. The first person he turned in was himself. He finally admitted to what the entire world has always known: he’s a lying, miserable, piece of crap diva who only cares about himself and the spotlight. No, wait, I mean he told DEA officials that, yes, he did take steroids. He then threw his “personal assistant” Yuri Sucarat under the bus as the middle man between class-act Anthony Boesch and A-Rod during his time secretly ingesting PEDs from the acclaimed Biogenesis clinic. Sucarat, of those of you who don’t know, is A-Rod’s cousin. A-Rod’s class-act persona has shone through yet again as now his own flesh and blood will spend the rest of his life most likely penniless and in prison, while A-Rod continues to stink-up the joint in the Bronx.

The Rookies of the Year were also announced this past week for both the AL and the NL. Congratulations to Jose Abreau (who I predicted would take home the award right HERE in March) for his monster season, despite robbing my beloved New York Yankees’ own Dellin Betances and Masahiro Tanaka. New York Mets’ pitcher Jacob deGrom took home the award in the NL. The  Mets, who inked Michael Cuddyer to a 2-year deal this week, could be very scary very soon. A staff anchored by Zack Wheeler, deGrom, a healthy Matt Harvey and Noah Syndergaard could help the Mets snag a winning record for the first time since Keith Hernandez and Gary Carter were relevant.

This picture still makes me laugh!
This picture still makes me laugh!

Speaking of immature people I would love to see simply go away forever, how bout everyone’s favorite college football player, JameASS Winston? The latest accusation, which has lead to a full blown NCAA AND FBI investigation, are allegations that Winston is a point shaver. This is not good, and whether or not he is involved or not, it is yet another blemish on his record. Crab legs, sexual assault, monetary NCAA violations and now possible association with gamblers and throwing games. Yes, these are all unproven allegations thus far, but enough is enough. There have been plenty of dirty players in college football (Reggie Bush, I’m talking to you) but we didn’t hear there name every two weeks with something new. This kid is a cancer to NCAA football and represents all of the dark characteristics associated with the NCAA. You know, shady and undermining to get whatever they want at the expense of 20-year old kids. Every game Winston suits up for the Seminoles, the more I respect teams like Texas A & M and UGA for self-imposed suspensions, no matter how little, to their mega-star players.

The mighty Auburn Tigers luck finally ran out this past weekend. The #3 Tigers were upset by unranked Texas A & M who were led into battle by new quarterback Kyle Allen. Allen came out and dropped four touchdowns in the first half. Heisman-hopeful Nick Marshall did what he has done best… led another inspired comeback and had the Tigers on the heel of victory. This time, however, they fell just short losing 41-38 in the Game of the Week.

Lastly, in a game in which I was hoping both teams would lose, #14 Ohio State trounced #8 Michigan State. Looking at the rankings it was an upset, but man the Big 10 That Has More Than 10 Teams is seemingly always the Buckeyes house. They always find a way to get to the top, whether it be cheating or not!

Photo credit: AP
Photo credit: AP

What a week for defenses in the NFL, huh? Aaron Rodgers threw six touchdowns in the first half Sunday night against the Bears at Lambeau Field. SIX. That is absolutely absurd. And how the hell does Jordy Nelson get so open? The guy catches a 50-yard touchdown every week, yet somehow, he continues to do it. Is he that good that defensive coordinators can’t figure him out? Clearly the Bears can’t figure anything out, however. Jay Cutler looked like a joke until garbage time. I almost couldn’t believe the game wasn’t called off after the first half.

Speaking of QBs looking like a joke, how sad was that Carolina game Monday night. Not just because the Eagles made Cam Newton look terrible, but because the Panthers made Mark Sanchez look amazing. It was excruciating to watch Cam have to continue to go back out there, getting continuously mauled by the Eagles sack attack and turning the ball over every other play. At one point, if I were Cam, I would have turned to Ron Rivera and been like, “You see what they are doing to me out there? Here’s my helmet… you go out there.”

Here’s another joke. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Andy DaltonHahahaha, that is funny! What a load of garbage this guy is, huh? He has arguably one of the top three receivers in football, yet Dalton managed to throw the ball for 86 yards and three turnovers against the Cleveland Browns. THE CLEVELAND BROWNS PEOPLE. I know they are playing well, but they looked like the ’85 Bears out there, and that they are not. For all of you who thought Joe Flacco‘s contract was the most absurd thing you ever saw, it seems Dalton is actually trying to prove that his contract was worse.

Trouble in paradise... er, Cleveland.
Trouble in paradise… er, Cleveland.

The NBA continues to roll on and the Toronto Raptors and Memphis Grizzlies have the two best records in basketball. I know I haven’t paid super close attention to the NBA the past few seasons but WHAT? I seriously couldn’t name you one player on the Raptors without looking at their roster and when I did look up there roster, I STILL didn’t know anyone.

The funniest news of the week is from the rumor mill that Kevin Love is already disenchanted in Cleveland. He probably doesn’t like playing second-fiddle to Queen LeBron James, but I’m not sure what he expected. Rumors are swirling that he will opt out of his contract and head to Los Angeles for 2015. Yea, because playing alongside Kobe Bryant is waaaaaay better.

There you have it, folks. Everything you needed to know in under 1200 words. Make sure you subscribe to get your weekly dose of wackiness every Monday!



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